Dave's Dating Tips is the fifth episode of the first series of The Dark Railway Series.
Plot[]
Dave is hosting a special episode to teach the audience his numerous and (in his words) successful dating tips. His tips are as follows:
- Securing a Date – Make sure you ask your date whilst they are alone; look her in the smokebox; use a good pick-up line; use some general chatter and ask her; arrange a suitable location before you leave.
- Presentation – Have your inner workings greased and oiled; make sure you are cleaned and have enough fuel; clean out your ashpan and smokebox; keep your boiler pressure low.
- Picking Up Your Date – Arrive five minutes late; do not arrive drunk, high or singing; greet her by buffering up to her; have something interesting to say; do not ask her any questions too personal.
- The Date – Make sure you date is comfortable and safe; refrain from talking about yourself; listen to what she says; do not lie (even though Dave does all the time).
- After the Date – Escort your date home safely; agree if she asks to come to your shed or disagree and take her somewhere else.
- The Morning After – If your date is at your shed, arrange transport home for her. If you are with her at her shed, run before anyone notices you.
Throughout the episode, the other engines offer their own tips and advice, which Dave dismisses as terrible.
Characters[]
- Dave
- Brian
- Raymond
- Theo and Otto
- Sir Eustace Missenden
- Owen
- Ryan
- The Workmen
- The Dating Engines (do not speak)
Locations[]
Trivia[]
- Dark DJ has said that this is his least favourite episode of The Dark Railway Series.
- When talking about something interesting to say, Dave warns against making your date feel like a "75-ton steel lesbian". This is a reference to Gary the Steam Engine, which Dark DJ is a fan and the creator of which is a friend of his.
Gallery[]
Title card for Episode 5.
The film crew tell Dave to stick to the script.
Dave discusses the episode's format.
Ditto.
Ditto.
Brian gives his dating tips.
Raymond gives his dating tips.
Eustace gives his dating tips.
Theo and Otto give their dating tips.
Owen gives his dating tips.
Ryan gives his dating tips.
Reasons why you might not secure a date: If you are a diesel. (Note that the diesel seen here is in inauthentic "Mainline" livery for the time period the series is set in).
Reasons why you might not secure a date: If you are a Tank engine.
Reasons why you might not secure a date: If you are just plain ugly.
Dave gives advice on locations for NOT going on a date. (Parry Scrapyard cameos in this segment, despite not being introduced to the series yet).
Lesson One: Securing a Date.
Lesson Two: Presentation.
Lesson Three: The Pick Up.
Lesson Four: The Date.
Lesson Five: After the Date.
Lesson Six: The Morning After.
Bonus Lesson: The Other Engine's Tips.
Dave makes his reference to "Gary the Steam Engine" (The original series).